ALL SMILES. My son and two of my grandchildren ride this happy Disney moment to the end of the line.

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DISNEY WORLD is where my family spent the middle of February, far from Kansas City's blistering cold and rising snow.

My entire core family went there together: wife, daughter with husband and two sons, son with wife and three daughters. All kids are age nine and under. It was a once-in-a-lifetime splurge, something my wife has dreamed of helping the family do after she retired.

Happy family vacation goal: Don’t get mad

I had just one goal, and it wasn't to have fun.

My goal was to come back still liking each other, more than ever if possible.

I knew the risks.

• • First, there are the young kids. Need I say more? (Sure. They're perfect.)
  • Then, there are the in-laws. Again, do I need to say more? (Except that I have a great daughter-in-law and son-in-law.)

• • Finally, there are my own dearly beloved son and daughter who are now opposites in some ways that count. I'm not going to say more. But I want to. But I won't.

My wife was the immovable force behind this trip.  I went along with her because over the years my wife learned to get pushy. That's a good thing when she's pushing in the direction I want to go. And as it turns out, it's sometimes a good thing when she's pushing against me.

I argued against Disney

I didn't want Disney. It's too expensive. A Caribbean beach vacation would have been cheaper. Also, Florida is not one of my favorite states these days. Nothing against the people, just the prevailing politics and what sounds like a Russian field office in Mar-A-Logo. But that's another feature I don't want to write.

Yesterday I finished compiling the family video of our trip. It serves as a joyful reminder that my wife knew best.

For 30 minutes, the screen fills with happy, screaming faces in a collection of video clips and snapshots set to music endearing, sometimes funny, and one time sad because life is sometimes sad. Even then, the video story is heartwarming.

Where are the Bible’s heartwarming families?

There are a lot of wretched stories about messy families of the Bible.

Jacob, founding father of the 12 tribes of Israel, cheats his brother Esau and lies to his nearly blind father Isaac. Esau vows to kill him, so Jacob flees the country.

Jacob marries the wrong woman because his father-in-law switched daughters on him in what sounds like the drunken dark dead of night. Jacob woke up with the older sister. A week later, he married the woman of his dreams. So, he had two wives. One loved. The other tolerated.

Even the family of Jesus had its moments. His mother and brothers came to stop him from talking like a crazy person. They said, "He lost his mind" (Mark 3:21).  Jesus seemed to momentarily disown them, saying, "Who is my mother...Who are my brothers? ...Anyone who obeys God is my brother and my sister and my mother" (Mark 3:33).

Family drama today

So what? Every family I know well has its moments, sometimes its decades. Some things we do to each other live on like the stench of a rotten potato in the potato bin. There's no getting rid of the stink. But we can and often do put distance between ourselves and the stinker.

I've got extended family members I never want to see again. Although I think it would be like God to put them next door to me in heaven. In which case, I'm thinking of two words: "privacy fence," the difference between heaven and hell.

You get the drift.

Among families, there are a lot of unforgivable sins. We try to forgive because Jesus said we should. Think of what we do to each other. Among my circle of family and friends, there's

• the daughter-in-law who steals from her husband's mom.
• a sister who acts as a family mole, gathering info she'll use to betray her siblings.
• a father-in-law and daughter-in-law ranting over politics, immigration, and racism.

When men were in charge

How much more miserable life must have been for families in the patriarchal age, when men were men and everyone else was pitifully less.

No wonder the Bible runs shy on happy families.

There is however the happy story of Moabite Ruth, the immigrant widow from what is now Jordan. She finds an old, rich Israelite, Boaz, and they have a baby who becomes the grandfather of Israel's most famous king, David. That's certainly a joyful story.

But families are a challenge to our faith. They're an asset, too, but a challenge nonetheless.

If ever there is a time to use good judgment or to keep our mouth shut long enough to listen, it's when we're talking with the people we have to live with until we die.

Sometimes we can't do either. Then we have to brace for the tempest: a firestorm or a cold front. And then we have to live with the memory of it, as we either work up an apology or try to forgive.

Happy families in process

Maybe there aren't many stories of happy families in the Bible because their stories are like ours. You have a great family getaway trip, but you know it's not safe to talk about politics.

We're all trying to figure life out as we travel through the years together.

I think we're not random. I suspect we're together on purpose.

What's the purpose. I think we're each other's wingman and wingwoman and wing whomever else.

When in-laws call for help

My son-in-law's pickup truck battery died this week. He was stuck at work and the auto service wouldn't be there for two hours. I left my desk and drove there with my battery jumper device.

It was no bother. It was an honor. He called me. He trusted me to help him. If you've got in-laws, you know that's a big deal.

He has helped me many times. For one, he has watched our dogs Buddy and now Maizey when my wife and I are away.

I think that's a Golden Rule recipe for a happy family. Do for each other what you know you would want someone to do for you.

My son-in-law texted me a thank you. I wrote back, "You're welcome. Doing something nice once in a while makes me feel like a better human being than I really am."

He told me not to be so hard on myself and "You're a pretty good human being."

I'll take it. And I'll squeeze out of my family every other happy moment I can get. I think the trick is to stay alert to opportunities to bring a happy moment to life.

My wife did that in a big way with the Disney trip. But for the most part, life is made up of little ways. We've just got to find them.