Some Bible verses jump off the page and smack me a good one.
Not usually in a bad way. They simply catch me off guard. Some are funny. Some are odd. Others say something familiar in a way that makes me stop and look again.
That takes some doing because I have spent more than 40 years researching, writing, and editing books about the Bible. I’ve also spent a decade paraphrasing The Casual English Bible®.
The following funny Bible verses and surprising Bible quotes come from The Casual English Bible® (TCEB). It is an easy-reading paraphrase rather than a word-for-word translation, so the language may sound different from the Bible you usually read. Click any verse reference to read the full chapter and see the passage in context.
Funny Bible verses that make me smile
1. A jackass needs a kick—Proverbs 26:3
“A horse needs a whip and a donkey needs a bridle,
But a jackass needs a kick in the butt.”
Proverbs 26:3
Proverbs can be wonderfully blunt about fools. The ancient saying says, more literally, that a horse needs a whip, a donkey needs a bridle, and a fool needs a “rod”—or what we might creatively call a walloping stick. In casual English, the wordplay—the parallel between a fool and a jackass—is almost impossible to resist. In our case, it IS impossible. So we put it in there, presuming most readers can identify a jackass when they meet one—or, worse, marry one.
2. A fire in your pants—Proverbs 6:27
“If you build a fire in your pants,
what makes you think you won’t get burned?”
Proverbs 6:27
The subject is adultery, and the warning is serious. But the writer delivers it with an image no reader is likely to forget. I once read this verse in a Bible study, and an elderly lady challenged my wording. She looked it up in her preferred Bible and said, “Well, I guess it is in there.” Some translations picture a man scooping fire into his lap—which is the general location of the offending appendage.
3. Working under the sun—Ecclesiastes 2:22
“What do mere humans get for all their busy-bee work in the searing sun? Sunburn.”
Ecclesiastes 2:22
Ecclesiastes repeatedly asks what people gain from all their work “under the sun.” In casual English, the answer is "Nothing useful." The idea echoes Tennessee Ernie Ford’s 1955 hit recording of Merle Travis’s coal-mining song “Sixteen Tons”: You load 16 tons and what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt.
4. Fools on the wrong side of the road—Ecclesiastes 10:2–3
“Wise people are driven to do the right thing.
Fools drive on the other side of the road.
Fools follow a trail marked ‘Fools.’
So, it’s easy to tell a fool is a fool.”
Ecclesiastes 10:2–3
The ancient verse contrasts right and left, then says fools reveal their foolishness everywhere they go. TCEB turns that contrast into a modern road trip.
5. Wisdom hurts—Ecclesiastes 1:18
“The wiser we get,
The more it hurts.
The more we know,
The worse it feels.”
Ecclesiastes 1:18
By the way, I wear that on the back of a T-shirt. The front says, “Grandpa, the wise one.” The Ecclesiastes writer and I are good buddies, sort of.
Odd Bible verses that make me look twice
6. Everyone ends up dead—Ecclesiastes 9:2
“So, nothing really matters because we all end up at the same place. Dead. It doesn’t matter if we’re good or bad, holy or hellish, ritually clean or filthy as sin. … What happens to good people will happen to sinners.”
Ecclesiastes 9:2
The writer of Ecclesiastes is not much for polite small talk. He probably wouldn’t be a great guest at a baby shower. He’s the one who would tell you what your baby really looks like. Here he confronts one of life’s most uncomfortable facts: death does not check our résumés.
7. Enjoy your worthless life—Ecclesiastes 9:9
“Enjoy your life with the ones you love. Cherish it every fleeting day of your worthless life. For that’s all you’ll get for your lifetime of work. So, love your life to death.”
Ecclesiastes 9:9
The verse sounds grim and affectionate at the same time. Life is brief, the writer says, so cherish the people you love while you have them. We can’t be sure how many people would stream that message on Spotify. Still, it could make a fun song.
8. What happens to an animal’s spirit?—Ecclesiastes 3:21
“Who knows if the spirit inside a person will rise after death, in that last exhale of breath? Who knows if the spirit inside animals will stay here, to sink into the earth?”
Ecclesiastes 3:21
Instead of supplying a tidy answer, the writer gives us the question. That kind of unfiltered honesty is one reason Ecclesiastes can feel so modern.
9. Kings and queens as sugar daddies and mommas—Isaiah 49:23
“Kings will be your sugar daddies,
Queens your sugar mommas.
They’ll bow so low they’ll lick the dust,
Your cue that I’m the LORD.
Trust in me and I’ll promise this,
You won’t be disappointed.”
Isaiah 49:23
The promise is serious: powerful foreign rulers would nurture and honor the Jewish people. Calling them “sugar daddies” and “sugar mommas” gives modern readers an image they immediately understand and are unlikely to forget.
Surprising Bible verses that lift me
10. Who can stand against us?—Romans 8:31
“If God’s on our side, why worry who’s on the other side?”
Romans 8:31
How can we argue that? Paul’s great declaration of confidence becomes a plain-English question that hits the nail on the head with a sledgehammer.
11. Step into your new life—Ephesians 4:23–24
“Let the Spirit make you new. It’ll change the way you think. Step into your new life. It looks a lot like God himself: morally good, spiritually devoted to others, and kindly truthful.”
Ephesians 4:23–24
This is not one of the funny verses. It is here because its picture of stepping into a new life is simple, hopeful, and hard to forget.
12. When talking about God, keep it short—Ecclesiastes 5:2
“If you’re talking about God, be careful when you tell people what you think you know. God’s in heaven. You’re on earth. So, keep it short.”
Ecclesiastes 5:2
Yep.
Does the Bible really contain humor?
Yes, although not every verse that sounds funny to us was necessarily written as a joke. The Bible uses irony, exaggeration, wordplay, sarcasm, and unforgettable pictures. Sometimes the humor is intentional. Sometimes ancient bluntness simply catches a modern reader off guard.
Which Bible books contain the funniest verses?
In this collection, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes do most of the work. Proverbs delivers short, sharp observations about human foolishness. Ecclesiastes offers dry commentary about work, wisdom, life, and death. Both books know how to make a point stick.
Why do these verses sound different from my Bible?
They come from The Casual English Bible®, an easy-reading paraphrase written for people who may be unfamiliar with traditional Bible language. A paraphrase restates the meaning in everyday English and may use a modern expression to carry the force of an ancient image. One positive side effect is that such wording can irritate biblical scholars, prodding them to think—and rethink. Thinking is good.
Watch: Fun with Ecclesiastes
Ecclesiastes supplied more verses for this list than any other Bible book. Watch Fun with Ecclesiastes for more of its blunt, surprising wisdom.
