THERE ARE FUNNY BIBLE VERSES that jump off the page and smack me a good one.
Not usually in a bad way. But in a way that catches me off guard.
That takes some doing because I have spent more than 40 years researching, writing, and editing books about the Bible. I’ve been paraphrasing The Casual English Bible® for several years now.
I keep track of Bible verses that stand out
I’ve made notes about passages that hit me; I wish I had done better because there have been a lot of them.
Some for better. Some for worse.
I’m not going to comment on them this time. But it would be nice to hear from you folks, instead.
The following Bible verses are from (TCEB) The Casual English Bible.®
Odd Bible verses that rattled me
“So, nothing really matters because we all end up at the same place. Dead. It doesn’t matter if we’re good or bad, holy or hellish, ritually clean or filthy as sin. … What happens to good people will happen to sinners.” Ecclesiastes 9:2
“Enjoy your life with the ones you love. Cherish it every fleeting day of your worthless life. For that’s all you’ll get for your lifetime of work. So, love your life to death.” Ecclesiastes 9:9
“Who knows if the spirit inside a person will rise after death, in that last exhale of breath? Who knows if the spirit inside animals will stay here, to sink into the earth?” Ecclesiastes 3:21
Kings will be your sugar daddies,
Queens your sugar mommas.
They’ll bow so low they’ll lick the dust,
Your cue that I’m the LORD.
Trust in me and I’ll promise this,
You won’t be disappointed.” Isaiah 49:23
Sweet verses that lift me
“If God’s on our side, why worry who’s on the other side?” Romans 8:31
“Let the Spirit make you new. It’ll change the way you think. Step into your new life. It looks a lot like God himself: morally good, spiritually devoted to others, and kindly truthful.” Ephesians 4:23-24
Funny Bible verses that make me smile
“A horse needs a whip and a donkey needs a bridle,
But a jackass needs a kick in the butt.” Proverbs 26:3
“If you build a fire in your pants,
what makes you think you won’t get burned?” Proverbs 6:27
“The wiser we get,
The more it hurts.
The more we know,
The worse it feels.” Ecclesiastes 1:18
(By the way, I wear that on the back of a t-shirt. The front says: Grandpa, the wise one.)
“What do mere humans get for all their busy-bee work in the searing sun? Sunburn.” Ecclesiastes 2:22
“Wise people are driven to do the right thing.
Fools drive on the other side of the road.
Fools follow a trail marked “Fools.”
So, it’s easy to tell a fool is a fool. Ecclesiastes 10:2-3
For more, there's Fun with Ecclesiastes—the video
“If you’re talking about God, be careful when you tell people what you think you know. God’s in heaven. You’re on earth. So, keep it short.” Ecclesiastes 5:2
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